Post by @morganth@social.tchncs.de

@morganth@social.tchncs.de

2025-06-11 22:43 UTC

I went to a talk lately that was mostly about something else, but the speaker came out with: “If you only remember one thing from this talk, remember this. Everyone in this room who likes helping people, raise your hand.” Every hand, or nearly every hand, went up. “If you like asking other people for help, keep your hand up.” Almost every hand went back down. “As you can see, people like helping you. When you ask for help, you’re making them feel good, even if you don’t like asking.” I’ve genuinely forgotten the rest of the presentation but I won’t forget that.

Replies (2)

@lykso@tiny.tilde.website 2025-06-11 22:58

@morganth@social.tchncs.de TBH, I tend to think that people *don't* really like being asked for help, but they like to think otherwise of themselves. I'd like to think I'm wrong, but this does seem to fit with my experiences. 🙃

Open ##3132341
@techsinger@tweesecake.social 2025-06-12 03:33

@morganth@social.tchncs.de With respect, I disagree. Most people don't like helping people, they like being thought of as people who like helping people. Most people don't like asking for help, though, that is true. One of the many reasons that people don't like asking for help is that, when one does, one sees that people don't want to help, they want to be thought of as people who help if asked. They can get the satisfaction of being thought of as people who help without the inconvenience of helping so long as nobody asks them. It is the rare person who, when asked, actually helps enthusiastically. Note that this is, in my experience, when asking for the first time, I do my best not to ask people for help, let alone ask for help often. @Tamasg@mindly.social

Open ##3132362