Mary Starbuck

22 September Hello lovely people, are you surviving? I have had a very rushed morning. Certain things had to be done in preparation for our next few day's schedule and it was our cleaner's time. I am not doing too great, but the late sunshine is welcome and encouraging. We will be with a small family group in a few hours and I hope I won't find it too difficult.

18 September Hello and happy Friday to you. How's it going? I had a call to review my meds this morning and had to get some items packed ready for posting. I did some laundry before going out and by the time we came back it was nearly lunchtime, but I hung the washing out and put yesterday's stuff away. This afternoon we've had a new dishwasher put in, so I've been mostly hiding. I was unable to catch up here until now. I am feeling stupidly tired today and wondering if I can manage to go out tomorrow. Plans are relatively undemanding, but the thought of socialising is too much for me just now.

17 September Is it dull and rainy with you? Not the most exciting weather here but hope you have a better day than me. I didn't get ready quickly enough for driving my husband to the station and now my day feels messed up. I've done a couple of tasks like laundry but I still can't quite get a grip on things. Probably the waiting brain thing and trying not to forget that I'll have to do the return station run this afternoon. It's good thinking about the day out we had yesterday. I do wish I had taken a photo or two but it's becoming normal for me to be simply too exhausted for the extra spoons.

@PetraPhoenix@beige.party That is a very wise plan. Enjoy the company on the outward journey and being by yourself on the way back.

@PetraPhoenix@beige.party I hope your drive is not too exhausting.

@RolloTreadway@beige.party Yes! That's it!

@RolloTreadway@beige.party I must have a listen. I was curious after hearing the name in relation to a TV show (urgh forgotten the title).

@Aspiedan well done. Hope you feel OK soon.

@UncoveredMyths@beige.party we are very lucky to have this community here. I am so grateful. I understand at least to some extent about needing to be reminded there is life around me.

@RolloTreadway Now have a GP appointment I didn't expect so quickly 😫 When I woke up I'd been dreaming that I was working in the White House. My day looks a lot better after that!

@moonrabbit bless you 💜🙏🌈

@transponderings@eldritch.cafe Thanks for sharing this. It has taken me so long to get round to responding (how many days is it now?) and this I why I don't get out enough. I know we have talked on this topic, so I'm probably repeating myself. I feel like it is impossible for many people to believe that it is not a choice. I have (to some extent) given up on trying to be understood, because it's so exhausting. A psychologist I talk to likes a theory called body boredom. It could mean that my body gives me fatigue to make me pay attention to what is not being listened to (eg I need more rest but if I go out I am ignoring that). I have yet to untangle the mess this has got me in (health consequences). In the last few weeks, I've had some bad pain which has been worse when sitting, so if that's another thing to pay attention to, it has resulted in me going out for a walk a bit more often. Now I'm rethinking. I wonder how much I might have not been listening to what is actually going on as opposed to believing it's that I don't want to go out 😘

@charmedlassie@mastodonapp.uk Sorry 💜

@charmedlassie@mastodonapp.uk 💜 :blobcatfoxhug:

@alicemcalicepants@ohai.social Maybe they're not actually people?

@moonrabbit I don't understand either. Thank you for the comfort and tea which I would like us all to share. Can I bring cake and blankets if I'm not too late? :blobcathuggiessad:

@transponderings@eldritch.cafe I've read it Anna. I'm not very awake so not much to say at this point apart from it's looking good :blobcatlove:

@gwenbeads@mathstodon.xyz Sorry for your loss 💜

@RolloTreadway Morning, I hope you can have a break or a little sleep if you need to. Definitely have tea and try to make it until the time to stop work.

@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to 😫 :blobcatfoxhug:

@RolloTreadway Thank you for sharing, that's good to know.

@AutisticDoctorStruggles Sounds like a good day 😍

@Aspiedan Well done! I hope it goes well.

@PetraPhoenix@beige.party 💜🫂

@Rhube Yes. I was lucky enough to get a doctor who did the titration as well. It seemed as though they are only allowed so much time in their NHS contract requirements, so it's not that they are exactly at fault.

@Havoc_online My husband has not had drums for a long time, but when he did it was the strap type.

@moonrabbit I think I've done well today although I don't have anything to show for it. Maybe I've moved a step in the right direction. Let me know how you're doing (if that's not too painful). Sending you hugs, care and big love :blobcatupsidedown: :blobcathuggiessad: :blobcatcookienom:

@Psychonaut @autistics Dr James Kustow was helpful to me (but I've only been once for an assessment in London). He told me about some testing that can throw light on what might or might not be going on with anti depressants. I have also found a psychologist helpful with understanding what I've not managed to before. Dr Chad Shepherd (does video calls). I would love to explain more, but I'm not sure if I'm on the right lines for you and I'm up to my ears in burnout. I'll try to answer any questions.

@PetraPhoenix@beige.party Sorry about your brother and nephew. Our smoke alarms are good and I try to shut doors at bed time as much as possible. Thanks for sharing.

@LJClements8@universeodon.com Glad you had a good day :blobcatlove:

@cognissart that looks excellent!

@amase@neurodifferent.me Thanks for sharing. It was good to read the Aucademy response to the Uta Frith thing. I am curious to know if anybody has communicated with TES about it. I don't hear so much about that kind of thing now I am staying away from X.

@moonrabbit@sunny.garden I'm not doing very well. I will give up on today and go to bed soon. Sorry if I've missed anything. How have you been? :blobcatcookienom:

20 September Hello everybody, how's your Sunday going? I've only just finished catching up here after yesterday and not nearly as carefully as I would like. So I survived Saturday. Just. I spent most of it just sitting so didn't use all my spoons, but felt like I was down to only one for the last few hours. The seating got rather uncomfortable as the evening went on. This morning I was not quite back to where I'd like to be and I'm panicking about many things that have to be jammed in to next week. Celebrating family birthdays and anniversaries is a great idea when suggested, but I would much rather hide when the time comes.

@snaptophobic@mastodon.me.uk Morning, I hope your blood pressure is OK. It can be useful if you can check it yourself.

@afewbugs@social.coop 😫

19 September Morning all, are you having a good day and weekend? I am feeling like I just can't function or think properly today, which is not fun. I'm going along to the pottery thing (fairly soon) but I can just wait in the car to save spoons while the others are inside. Then there's dinner (dreading having to focus on the menu/decision making) and a thing afterwards. Hopefully I will surprise myself and have a nice time. I feel I would seem a really horrible person if I told the others I just don't want to spend this time pretending I'm not exhausted and struggling.

21 September How's it going with you this Monday? I did some good adulting this morning then went to my autistic adults group meeting. Had a lovely walk home afterwards (which felt better than other walks have been lately). While I was in town I remembered a couple of things I needed to shop for. There were good vibes in the group and we had another new person who I liked. Wandering around I came across our town's "security patrols" so that was not so cheerful, but at least the river and wildlife is looking greener and more healthy.

@Rhube I went with Psychiatry UK because they'd been used by someone else I knew. This was several years ago now. They were good enough to get through the diagnosis but when it came to titration I didn't feel they had as much time as I needed. They didn't seem to have any understanding of my autistic characteristics. Since then I find it a nightmare to communicate with them. Answering the phone takes so long and emails aren't an option. Edit just to say the wait to be assessed was reasonable compared to years that some people stay on lists for. I think I got a cancellation.

23 September Hello! I'm still here, just I have one foot firmly in family world. What's been happening here with my fedifriends? Today was the first of the birthdays. We have drunk tea, been for lunch, shopped and drunk more tea. Now we're in for the evening and I'm in the bedroom hoping to have a sleep but not peaceful enough. I've been trying to catch up on here but it's slow going after I had a disturbed night. Hard pillows, duvet too heavy, noisy rain overflowing the gutter, husband with indigestion.

@moonrabbit such a dear little bear :blobcathearthug: so kind :blobcatfoxhug:

24 September On the way to our next stop in our family celebrations. I will be back if I have any news to report. How's everybody doing?

@moonrabbit Thank you. You are very kind. Alas, my weekend is not going to be very restful. I'm sorry about poor kitten and about you not being well and not knowing how to manage. Maybe the Easter bunny can bring magic? That would be good. Take care lovely :blobcathearthug: :blobcatkissheart:

@Erased_Citizen@cupoftea.social Sorry I've not been back here properly. Hope the day did pick up for you 🫶