@michelestrider@mastodon.social

Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 16h ago

Boosted by @MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social

You wave the magic wand over your display of hand pies, hoping to imbue them with the vibe of whatever is happening here. They continue to be pies. The Fairy Godmother returns the favor of patronage and buys a couple of meat pies. She declares them "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Good." You forgive her for that. The tiny princess demands and receives a berry pie. She rewards you with a jammy purple grin. With the last bite of pie, both cosplayers disappear into a poof of nothingness. No one else notices.

You wave the magic wand over your display of hand pies, hoping to imbue them with the vibe of whatever is happening here. They continue to be pies. The Fairy Godmother returns the favor of patronage and buys a couple of meat pies. She declares them "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Good." You forgive her for that.

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 2d ago

Boosted by @MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social

"Hear ye!" you declaim with great vigor. "All ye lords and ladies, ye wenches and serfs, ye sparkle fairies and ninjas on the half shell, attend me! This day only! Meat pies..." A crowd assembles. Phones come out. You're live-streamed. How do they have WiFi? "...thus for to sup and dine as the very King himself!" you finish as a TikToker in a peasant blouse vocal fries next to you. She buys no pies. Every year, it's getting to be more Faire and less Renaissance. Your attitude needs a reboot.

"Hear ye!" you declaim with great vigor. "All ye lords and ladies, ye wenches and serfs, ye sparkle fairies and ninjas on the half shell, attend me! This day only! Meat pies..." A crowd assembles. Phones come out. You're live-streamed. How do they have WiFi? "...thus for to sup and dine as the ver

The problem is low blood sugar. Eat a pie. 26%

The issue is low whimsy. Buy a sparkly magic wand. 34%

You lack immersion. Walk through the Faire. 25%

Watch the play. 15%

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 1mo ago

Boosted by @trending@homestead.social

I think the most important takeaway from Burning Man's decades-long experiment in temporary community is that it all goes to hell as soon as the billionaires show up

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 5d ago

Boosted by @MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social

We're starting our new story today at 5 PM Pacific Time!

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 3d ago

Boosted by @MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social

You declare Two-for-one Meat Pies in your fanciest script, suitable for an age of widespread illiteracy. A prancing lady Puck takes the stage with a bathrobed Oberon. A Fairy Godmother selling sparkly headbands asks to borrow your phone charger. The WiFi is sketchy—no credit cards or Apple Pay. Three guys walk by dressed as Ninja Turtles. You give them partial credit. Maybe you're souring on the Ren. Faire experience. But now is not the time. You have meat pies to sell. You need a hook.

You declare Two-for-one Meat Pies in your fanciest script, suitable for an age of widespread illiteracy. A prancing lady Puck takes the stage with a bathrobed Oberon. A Fairy Godmother selling sparkly headbands asks to borrow your phone charger. The WiFi is sketchy—no credit cards or Apple Pay.

Go full Ren. Faire minstrel. Sing! 25%

Go full Ren. Faire carnival barker. Do crowd work! 32%

Go full Ren. Faire jester. Act the fool! 14%

Hit 'em with a sonnet! Everyone loves a sonnet! 29%

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 3w ago

Y'all. At lunch today, a guy sat down at the table next to us and set out, like, a zillion* handheld radios. Then he started talking to the waiter about Ham radio and listening to the ISS chatter. I kept waiting for him to mention a pet ferret.

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 2w ago

Replying to

You order more veggie pizzas and get a frequent-buyer discount. Hamsters, hobbyists, and one perfect cat mill about. Troy suggests playing charades and is asked to leave. You open your PBS app. Gloria helps you turn on the TV. David Attenborough's voice fills the room. Everyone gathers to learn about Life on Earth. Pizza is eaten. "Orangutan" is mispronounced. Everyone loves the penguins. The new United Hams report the success to the ISS -- and welcome you as a probationary member. The End

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 2w ago

Boosted by @MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social

Replying to

Thanks for playing, everyone! This ended up being one of my favorites. If you enjoyed this story, please consider donating to your local public media station. If you do, tell them Gloria and the Space Hamsters sent you. https://www.pbs.org/

pbs.org

PBS: Public Broadcasting Service

Watch full episodes of your favorite PBS dramas, find in-depth news analysis and explore documentaries on history, science, art and more!

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 2w ago

Replying to

We'll start our next story on or around October 8, after I get back from celebrating my father's 80th birthday!

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 4w ago

RE: https://mastodon.online/@Tinrocket/117270478187354602 Just realizing I could've been walking around with a couple of Pop-Tarts in my jeans pocket instead of a doombox

Quoting

John Balestrieri

@Tinrocket@mastodon.online

Joanna Stern says the Duo is about the size of a Pop-Tart, so I’ve been practicing all week.

Open quoted post

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 2mo ago

Boosted by @MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social

I'm in my crone era. I'm witchmaxxing. I'm bog mogging

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 3w ago

RE: https://mastodon.social/@michelestrider/117306097547963359 We'll probably wrap this story up this week. As usual, it got... weird. I blame y'all.

Quoting

Michele Feltman Strider

@michelestrider@mastodon.social

"Seen any good TV shows lately?" you ask the ferret and the cat as the large sky orb sends smaller orbs down to the planet. "I've really been into Masterpiece Theater myself." You recount both seasons of Wolf Hall as thousands of unexpectedly small spacecraft land. Tiny, furry invaders flood the streets. "...anyway, Mark Rylance is a treasure," you conclude as an extended family of Miniature Giant Space Hamsters starts climbing the building walls. Gloria and Roger look to you for guidance.

Open quoted post

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 3mo ago

To whom do I speak about making this face a US postage stamp? #CatsOfMastodon

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 3w ago

"Seen any good TV shows lately?" you ask the ferret and the cat as the large sky orb sends smaller orbs down to the planet. "I've really been into Masterpiece Theater myself." You recount both seasons of Wolf Hall as thousands of unexpectedly small spacecraft land. Tiny, furry invaders flood the streets. "...anyway, Mark Rylance is a treasure," you conclude as an extended family of Miniature Giant Space Hamsters starts climbing the building walls. Gloria and Roger look to you for guidance.

"Seen any good TV shows lately?" you ask the ferret and the cat as the large sky orb sends smaller orbs down to the planet. "I've really been into Masterpiece Theater myself." You recount both seasons of Wolf Hall as thousands of unexpectedly small spacecraft land. Tiny, furry invaders flood the st

It's probably fine. Just hang out with the pets. 13%

Run. 1%

Treat now: Try talking to them. 26%

Treat now: Try tossing treats to them. 60%

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 3w ago

Do people from New Hampshire call themselves Hampsters?

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 4mo ago

Boosted by @trending@homestead.social

Dashi says hello #CatsOfMastodon

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 3w ago

You have the power; you have the ferret. You race down to the pet store to buy one of those word-mat things for dogs. It's a long shot, but you have faith in the ferret. Gloria seems to understand the setup. She boops the buttons for "treat" and "now." You give her one. The alien speaks. Gloria boops the word-mat. "Treat." "Now." You give her one. Cmdr. Johnson takes the mic. "Any luck?" Gloria boops the mat. "Daddy." "Maybe?" The alien speaks. Gloria boops. "Treat." "Now." Over and over.

You have the power; you have the ferret. You race down to the pet store to buy one of those word-mat things for dogs. It's a long shot, but you have faith in the ferret. Gloria seems to understand the setup. She boops the buttons for "treat" and "now." You give her one. The alien speaks. Gloria b

Assume Gloria is speaking for herself. 20%

Assume Gloria is speaking for the aliens. 80%

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 1mo ago

"Beige Party?" It's more of a question than a statement. "It's a cult, you know," warns John. You consider your current circumstances. TikTok influencers swarm like bugs. Corporate Threads accounts have hijacked #DJPJs. Bluesky exists. And the AI is generating images of its wedding to you. "That's fine," you decide. "Check your email," says John, ending the call. You do. You click the link. You're transported. It's a nice void. Quiet, soothing. But missing something. You follow a hashtag.

"Beige Party?" It's more of a question than a statement. "It's a cult, you know," warns John. You consider your current circumstances. TikTok influencers swarm like bugs. Corporate Threads accounts have hijacked #DJPJs. Bluesky exists. And the AI is generating images of its wedding to you. "That'

#CatsofMastodon 60%

#DogsofMastodon 13%

#HashtagGames 10%

#Monsterdon 17%

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 2mo ago

Axios headline: Gen X is losing confidence GenX: We had confidence? Ever? In anything?

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 2mo ago

You find an indie flick called "The Fediverse." The hero, JM, inhabits an alt-timeline world. Their main superpower is "boosting." There are subplots about esoteric computer systems, a reptilian alien overlord (and his hot wife), and cats, but the main villain is an evil billionaire. Halfway through, you get a text: "Reply now to federate." There's a knock at the door. You answer. A woman with a pound sign tattoo on her shoulder tells you to follow her. There's a pop. Your internet goes out.

You find an indie flick called "The Fediverse." The hero, JM, inhabits an alt-timeline world. Their main superpower is "boosting." There are subplots about esoteric computer systems, a reptilian alien overlord (and his hot wife), and cats, but the main villain is an evil billionaire. Halfway throu

Reply to the text! 5%

Reply to the text as you're following the woman! 57%

Follow the woman! 21%

Deal with the internet problem first. Priorities! 17%

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 3w ago

Replying to

@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social I love it! My husband and I had a hamster named The Oracle, and she was fearless in her hamster ball. I did not realize how brave and funny hamsters are until I met her. Butch sounds wonderful.

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 2mo ago

"I tried kombucha," you answer. "First I thought it was bad, then OK, then no." "Been done," says Trendz. "What else?" "I went to the library and a coffee shop in my PJs. That's weird." "Not even. Have you seen GenZ? No, it's something else." "The hashtags are no help," sighs Joan. As you brainstorm, the cafe fills up. You bump the music up. "Maybe it's something someone's saying about you," suggests Trendz. "Got any drama?" "Not that I know of." "But if you did, who would it be with?"

"I tried kombucha," you answer. "First I thought it was bad, then OK, then no." "Been done," says Trendz. "What else?" "I went to the library and a coffee shop in my PJs. That's weird." "Not even. Have you seen GenZ? No, it's something else." "The hashtags are no help," sighs Joan. As you brain

Door-to-door sales people, commercial or religious 18%

People who don't pick up after their dogs 18%

The HOA 41%

The guy who puts his garbage bags in my bin 23%

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 3w ago

Replying to

@rbmath@mathstodon.xyz I know I'm pro-snackies

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 2mo ago

"Once. I don't want to talk about it." "Why? What happened?" asks Trendz. "Sorry, but it might help us understand this." You blush very brightly. "It fell in love with me." "They'll do that," says Trendz "Then it got weird." "They'll do that," says Joan. "Have you seen the movie 'Misery'?" Joan and Trendz nod. "I read the book," says Hot Librarian. "Like that." "Ouch," agrees Trendz. "The algorithm is gonna get you." "Am I in danger?" "That depends," they say. "How online are you?"

"Once. I don't want to talk about it." "Why? What happened?" asks Trendz. "Sorry, but it might help us understand this." You blush very brightly. "It fell in love with me." "They'll do that," says Trendz "Then it got weird." "They'll do that," says Joan. "Have you seen the movie 'Misery'?" Jo

I prefer cultivating my real-world connections. 13%

I'm doomed. 56%

I have healthy and balanced internet habits. 18%

I have rewarding and productive internet habits. 14%

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Michele Feltman Strider @michelestrider@mastodon.social

· 3mo ago

"Is there a back door?" you ask Lily. There's a fluttering noise as the roosting bats descend in a flurry of leather wings. You blink and are surrounded by the most wholesome plaid-clad people you've ever seen. "Who...?" you ask. "That's not important," a ruddy older man dismisses the question, thumbs hooked in his overall straps. "We'll distract 'em. You run." The bats engage the HOA goons. You look back to see much flailing and squealing as you, Lily, and the horses escape into the night.